You are on a first date with a lovely new prospective partner.  They lean forward to kiss you.  You like them, but it feels far too soon for you to be physically intimate in this way. How do you respond?

When you say ‘yes’, but really mean ‘maybe’ or ‘no’, you lose the intimacy of authentic communication.  You also lose trust and safety with yourself.

“I didn’t want to hurt his feelings,” says Sasha.  Many women – and men too – say the same.

But what are the true consequences of NOT communicating truthfully?  Would YOU like it if your partner agreed to something, but in reality they weren’t enjoying it?  And what happens to your heart when you know you are enduring something that you don’t really want, and that in addition you are not being truthful with your beloved?

‘Yes, No, Maybe, Please’ Exercise:

This exercise is to practice authentic, in-the-moment, intimate communication safely and playfully.  It also enhances creativity, joy and spontaneity in intimate partnerships.  You can engage in it for as little as 20 minutes, and as long as 2 hours.  You will need either a love partner or a friend.

Agree a time frame.  For half of that time one of you will be the ‘initiator’.  Then you will swap.  The one who is not the initiator is the ‘active recipient’.

The initiator sits facing their partner, and initiates intimacy, whether it’s a hug, kissing, touch or simply holding hands, being in eye contact or lying together.  The active recipient notices their own responses.  If you are enjoying what’s being initiated, you say ‘yes’.  If not, ‘no’.  If you are unsure, ‘maybe’, and if you are really loving it, ‘please’.  The initiator hears and recognizes their partner’s responses, but has no obligation to act in any particular fashion in return, other than, if you hear a ‘no’, to refrain from that particular action in that moment (you can always resume that action a little while later, which may give rise to a different response).  The important thing is to follow your impulses that arise IN THE MOMENT, rather than pre-determined agendas originating from the mind.  This gives the initiator freedom to safely express themselves fully, knowing where they stand.  Also the ‘no’ is not a rejection of you.  It’s feedback regarding a particular action at a particular time.  In this way the fear of rejection can be diminished, and greater freedom discovered.

After the prescribed time, swap roles.

At the end, take 5 minutes each to talk about your experiences in both roles.

Leora Lightwoman runs Diamond Light Tantra workshops in London and Devon.

Find out more about Diamond Light Tantra workshops in London and the UK

Email Leora Lightwoman or Diamond Light Tantra, or visit www.diamondlighttantra.com. You can also call 0845 388 2231 for more details or to book onto the workshops.

Leora Lightwoman MA (Oxon) has facilitated Tantra workshops for couples and individuals, and offered private sessions, since 1996, having originally trained with Margot Anand, and other Tantra teachers internationally.  She has a degree in psychology, and training in couples counselling, yoga, bodywork and voice dialogue.  She is author of the book ‘Tantra, the Path to Blissful Sex’ (Piatkus, 2004)

In tantra there are two important poles of energy known as Shiva and Shakti. In fact, Shiva and Shakti have various spheres of existence and operation in the cosmos and in the individual. In the ordinary human society man and woman represent Shiva and Shakti respectively. In the universal mind, time and space represent Shiva and Shakti aspects. In spiritual life, mind and prana represent Shiva and Shakti. In hatha yogic texts, these two Shaktis are known as ida and pingala. Ida represents the consciousness and pingala represents the life force, or prana.

These two Shaktis are the opposite poles of energy. Ordinarily, they are never together, but at the time of creation, they meet at a point of union on every sphere. In the universal mind, time and space come together at the nucleus, and when they unite, then the explosion takes place in matter. Here, time is represented by plus energy and space by minus energy.

Aspects of awakening In the ordinary human society, man and woman are the two different poles of energy. These energy poles have been discussed in detail in the ancient tantric tradition. You may have seen a photograph of Kali standing practically naked, with one foot placed on Shiva, who is flat on the ground. She has a ferocious expression, a blood stained tongue and a mala of 108 human skulls. That is Kali in the awakened state. You may also have come across some pictures, though they are very rare, of Shiva seated in lotus posture. Half of his body is Shiva and half is Shakti. Then, you may have seen the picture of Shiva and Parvati sitting in the position of guru and disciple. Shiva is seated in lotus posture, and Parvati is seated on a lower platform. Shiva is instructing her in the secrets of tantra. These are three examples. The fourth example, you may also have heard about. About 110 miles from Monghyr is a very important centre of tantra known as Tarapeetha. There you can see Lord Shiva sucking at the breast of Shakti.

These are the relationships between Shiva and Shakti at different levels of evolution and awakening. At one point, Shakti is the disciple and Shiva is the guru; that is, woman is the disciple and man is the guru. At another level, they are not at all different. Shiva and Shakti are intertwined together in one body, one frame and one idea. At yet another level of evolution, Shakti is supreme and Shiva is subservient. Now, this is the philosophical interpretation of the stages of awakening of the inherent shakti in everybody.

Spiritual awareness of the woman In the tantric tradition, the woman is considered to be higher than the man so far as the tantric initiations are concerned. This should by no means be understood as a social claim. It is purely a spiritual attitude in relation to the evolution of higher consciousness. The frame of a woman, her emotions, and her psychic evolution is definitely higher than that of a man. Awakening of the spiritual force, that is, kundalini, is much easier in the body of a woman than in the body of a man.

Besides this, there is another important point that we have to understand. Generally, a man who goes into the deeper realms of mind and comes out, is not able to bring those experiences back with him, but a woman can. It seems to me that there is very little difference between a woman’s inner and outer awareness. When you go very deep into your consciousness, you have certain experiences. But when you return from that deeper state of mind to the gross awareness, a veil falls in between those experiences and the conscious mind. In the case of a woman, this veil does not fall.

Apart from this, the psychic being of a woman is highly charged with spiritual awareness. The external expression that you will find in a woman or in a girl – love for beauty, tenderness, sympathy, understanding, are expressions of her inner state. I usually make a joke. I say, if all women leave this world, it would become a desert. There would be no colours, perfumes, smiles or beauty. This indicates that the inner awareness of woman is very receptive and ready to explode.

In the realm of kundalini yoga also, the woman’s body is charged by a particular centre. Mooladhara chakra in the male body is intricately situated in a very congested area. Men do moola bandha and still nothing happens. But in a woman’s body, you can even touch mooladhara with your fingers. Therefore, awakening can take place in a woman’s body much more quickly than in the body of a man.

Another important point is that woman has always been the main transporter of energy and man the medium. The woman may not be your wife; she could be your mother, daughter or disciple. Mary was Christ’s mother. The Mother of Aurobindo Ashram was a disciple. In the same way, in the tantric tradition, there is the story of the sixty four yoginis. The word yogini is the feminine gender of yogi. Now, these yoginis are worshipped all over India. There are sixty four temples dedicated to the sixty four aspects of feminine energy. One of them is in Assam, another in Calcutta at Kali Ghat.

Vama Marga Now, when we study the books on tantra, we clearly come across one central theme: Shakti is the creator, and Shiva is instrumental. Shiva has never been considered a creator. One of the greatest thinkers and sages of India, Adi Shankaracharya, wrote in the first line of his most famous tantric work, ‘Without Shakti, how can Shiva create?’ Therefore, the Hindus have accepted the union of man and woman in order to facilitate the process of evolution through tantra.

Although, from time to time, the relationship between man and woman has had different purposes due to the cultural influences from various parts of the world, in Hinduism we have continued to remain steadfast on one point, that the relationship between man and woman has a spiritual objective.

Therefore, in tantra, a woman’s place is on the left side. Before marriage, the girl sits on the right side, and when the marriage ceremony has taken place, then she sits on the left. She is thus known as vama. In Sanskrit, ‘vama’ means one who is on the left side. Vama also refers to ida.

There is an old story about Sita and Rama. When Rama was over sixty years of age, his wife Sita became pregnant and went to live for some time in the ashram of a saint. During this period, one of Sri Rama’s duties as emperor was to perform a certain religious ceremony. However, the wise men ruled that he could not perform that ceremony without his wife in attendance. Because Sita could not be present and the ceremony was compulsory, they constructed a statue of her, and when the ceremony was being conducted the statue was placed on Rama’s left side.

Now, in western countries, vama marga is a very misunderstood concept. They call it ‘left hand tantra’, which is an incorrect translation. If you are reading a book on tantra and find the words ‘left hand tantra’, take a red pencil and cross them out. In tantra, vama marga actually means the path of spiritual evolution, which is practised with your wife. Marga means path and vama means the wife, the woman, the partner, whichever she may be.

Tantric relationship In vama marga, it is Shakti who is important, not only in sexual life but in spiritual practices, carrying out the processes of creation and in conducting most of the spiritual rituals. Amongst Hindus, all the rituals, religious and otherwise, arc mainly conducted by women; men have to sit quietly. Woman is the commissioner; man is the participant. Whether it is an ordinary social ceremony, a religious ceremony, the worship of sonic deity, or a day of fasting, it is the woman who has to introduce it. The man just has to follow her. This is the tradition in India known as initiation from the woman to the man.

Now, what is vama marga? It is the spiritual path which can be practised along with your partner. The second division is called kalachakra. This involves the mother giving initiation in the son, The north of Bihar particularly is the centre for this type of initiation. Up to the borders of Nepal in the north. Assam in, the east, and Uttar Pradesh in the west, is the are in which the kalachakra initiation is prevalent, even today. According to this tradition, the son considers his mother a goddess. Every morning, just as Christians go to church on Sundays or Hindus go to the temple and bow down before the deity, or do some sort of prostration, in the same way, the son approaches his mother. This is not just a social respect that he pays to the elders of the family. It is a spiritual adoration which is performed, not because she is his mother, but because she is his guru.

The same thing is done in vama marga as well, but here it is not the son, but the partner who prostrates before the woman. Then the spiritual mark or mark of blessing has to be put. It is she who places it on him, not he who places it on her.

So these are the two important roles in which the woman is involved in tantra. It is a sad mistake to consider the woman in tantra only as a sexual partner. Sexual life is important, but it is not the only relationship that can exist between a man and woman. After all, your mother is also a woman, so too is your daughter, as well as your wife. Now, are you going to have the tantric relationship with all these, or are you going to have sexual relationships with all of them?

Misuse of tantra At present the west is rebelling against its own religion. That is why they are confusing and misinterpreting tantra. They are trying to create anarchy in the sexual sphere of man. Many teachers in India are also confused on this matter. In tantra you don’t have to fight with your religion or tradition. Tantra never said that sexual life is a sin. It says that sexual interaction is a natural urge; do it if you like. Religion in the west has said it is a sin; only one man was born without sin, and all the rest were born with sin. Naturally you have to rise above that guilt.

So you have to find some sort of explanation for sexual life, and tantra has become a cover. Tantric thought is very clear and straightforward regarding this point. A verse in one of the ancient texts states that there is no harm if you drink wine, eat meat, or indulge in the sexual act. These are natural urges of all human beings, but if you can transcend them, your spiritual progress will be very rapid. As such, tantra should not become a cover for any particular urge in human life.

The woman comes first In tantra the role of initiator is shifted from the male to the female. Ramakrishna Paramahansa always considered his wife Sarada as Devi, or goddess. In Sanskrit. Devi means illumined or illustrious. When Ramakrishna was married, he was very young and his wife was still a child, but he only regarded her as the Divine Mother. That is how he always behaved towards her, and that is what he considered her to be.

In tantra, the woman has to be dealt with very carefully because she is the high tension line for kundalini energy. You do not have to be afraid of her, but you have to be very careful, because in her lies the potentiality of a great explosion, if you have a wife, well, she is your wife. But if she is going to be a tantric partner in your spiritual life, then it is for a different purpose and then the process is entirely different,

In India, right from the beginning, there has been this tradition. Whenever you make a reference to a man and woman, you always refer to the woman first and then the man. We never say Ram Sita, we always say Sita Ram. You never hear Shyam Radhe: it is Radhe Shyam, Radha being the feminine and Shyam the masculine. This is because in the scheme of evolution. Shakti comes first and Shiva comes next. With this attitude, if you go On in spiritual life, either with your wife, daughter or disciple, then you have to see that she is the activator and you are the participant in every sphere. Even if a man has realised the higher awareness, he will still have difficulty in communicating that to others if he does not bring a woman into the picture.

Hypothesis in hatha yoga In tantra it is also to be remembered that there is another path called dakshina marga or Vedic tantra. Here the woman is not necessary, neither as daughter, mother or wife, because the aspirant is considered to have both forces within himself. Ida is feminine and pingala masculine, Union between the mental and pranic forces is equivalent to union between a man and woman. That is the hypothesis in hatha yoga, ida is shakti and pingala is shiva. When they unite in ajna chakra, that is the real union. The seat of Shakti is in mooladhara. The seat of Shiva is in sahasrara. Shiva is in eternal yoga nidra there, inactive, unconcerned nameless and formless. He has nothing to do with destruction or creation. His consciousness is homogeneous and total. There is no vibration in sahasrara. Shakti is in mooladhara, and by the practices of yoga, you awaken her. She becomes aroused and makes headway through sushumna up to ajna. When Shakti reaches ajna chakra, union takes place.

Dance of Shiva This union occurs when the two poles of energy come together. When you put on the switch, there is light, because the wires of the switch are uniting. In the same way, in ajna chakra, when union takes place, the explosion also simultaneously occurs. Then the energy created in ajna chakra moves up to sahasrara chakra. There Shiva and Shakti unite with each other, and when they unite, Shiva begins to dance. Perhaps you have seen a photo of Nataraja. That is the symbolic expression of the awakened Shiva.

When Shiva wakes up from his profound yoga nidra, then he begins to dance. I am not talking about a man, but a force. The awakening of that force in man is symbolised by the dance of Shiva in the form of Nataraja. Then Shakti and Shiva descend together through the same path to mooladhara. Both come down together to the mundane level, the gross plane. That is the path of the saints who come down and reach us from time to time. If you happen to read the philosophy of Sri Aurobindo, you will understand about the awakening of energy and its union with Shiva, both of them dancing together and then coming down to our plane of existence. That is why in kriya yoga we have ascending and descending passages – arohan and awarohan.

Now, the role of women in the tantric tradition has been defined, but the position of women in the modern cultures is far from this. People all over the world are fighting with their own guilt and sin. If you wish to resurrect the pristine position of women today, then the whole attitude will have to be changed. In fact, our social structure will have to be based on a new concept of religious realities, in which the role of woman in mankind’s spiritual evolution is fully understood and accepted. This is absolutely necessary for the emergence of a new society. And you will have to realise this very clearly, so that what you practise and teach is not a consequence of your own religious conflicts within.

posted by Sudhir Sharma

Rose Rouse

It’s an intriguing idea. Elena Angel, a taoist and tantric practitioner based in Chalk Farm, offers a session called Tantric Secrets For Women. Equally, it could be Tantric Secrets For Men.

But what is it? I’m sitting in her tropically heated, rose-strewn, heavenly white studio surrounded by books on Tantra, Sacred Healing and Taoism. She particularly recommends ones by Mantak Chia and David Deida. “These sessions can address intimacy and relationship, sexual, emotional and spiritual challenges, “ she says, “or they can be purely about pleasure and extending your sensual vocabulary in that way. I use a mixture of life-coaching, energy work and intuitive counselling.”

I decide to be bold. What have I got to lose? I tell her that I haven’t got a man in my life and can she help?

Elena who is petite and deliciously pretty asks me a question about dating men and how it has been for me, and I can hear myself racing into a non-stop account about a Jungian analyst and author that I met recently on a date, who was unbearably arrogant. She realises rapidly that I’m stuck in my intellect and takes immediate action.

She takes me into a meditative space. She has already asked me what image I have of the man I’d like to meet, and then she guides me to my heart and asks me to imagine him there. I’ve got my eyes closed, and I feeling distinctly fearful. My heart is not at ease with the idea of this future man.

But we’re already travelling to the belly, and she’s asking how this man will nurture me there and what qualities he will have here? No problems for me here. I imagine a sensitive, caring, kind and yet deeply masculine man who is also strong and steady as well as capable of vulnerability. I am totally calm and confident.

We move again this time down to the sex centre. Which is sexuality and passion. I feel at home here too. I tingle with delight. I also feel alive yet still. She gets me to imagine a big fantastic bird and I see an orange ostrich which is the king of the circus.

Elena brings us both back into the room again and I open my eyes. Somewhat reluctantly. I say that it’s my heart that’s the problem. I’ve been hurt by other relationships and I’m scared of opening it. Briefly, she takes me back to the heart and we wait until it is glowing, rather than palpitating. And she asks me to imagine a man there and how that feels. I feel the steadiness that I need here.

She asks me what sort of men I’m attracted to? “Charismatic ones,” I confess.

And which parts of you are attracted to them? “My head and my sexuality,” I respond straight away.

I love being asked questions. I’m a journalist, I usually ask them. It’s really incredibly useful to recognise exactly what I do around men and how in fact, safety in the heart area is what counts. Even if the possessors of this quality, are not the most exciting and charismatic.

I’m going to a party the next evening, I explain, and there will be a man there that I already like and am seeing whether there is a real attraction, what does she advise?

At this point, she asks a key question. “Do you want to show him all parts of yourself?”

I do, I say.

“Well, it takes courage to do that,” she says, “and he may not like them all. He may only want to see your exuberance and keen intelligence. He may not be interested if you show him everything.”

I don’t care, I declare, I’m determined.

She has a plan. She can see that I inhabit quite a lot of masculine qualities, and she talks about the polarities of really being a man and a woman and that one of the mistakes in the modern world, is that women are not inhabiting their feminine core enough, and the men are not inhabiting their masculine core enough either. “We need to occupy these polarities fully so that we can really give to each other and share our gifts,” she explains. “Men’s energy projects from their sex centres and women’s active centre is their heart.”

Then it gets more exciting. “Take secret action,” she declares re the man at the party, “gaze into his eyes, words can be a defense, use your arms as extensions of your heart and dance them around, then circulate the energy from your heart to his heart, imagine it moving down his spine through to his lingam and out into your yoni, then back up your spine into your heart again. Watch out when you use this technique because men will start being attracted to you, so be discerning.”

Now I’m laughing at the possibilities. “Check in with yourself,” she says, “see which parts of you are attracted to this man and see if it’s the ones you wish.”

There was more. But those were the essential instructions. I’m equipped, it seems, for the next stage of the finding a man journey. The party, I can report, was a success. The secret action, that is.

www.dakinishyama.com

Sit facing you partner, lightly holding hands, and close your eyes.  Feel your breath moving in your body, and allow your body to elax and soften.

After about 2 minutes, when you feel connected with yourself, open your eyes with soft gaze, and receive your partner’s eyes (or wait for them to open their eyes, whilst lightly resting your attention on their face, receiving them in this way).   Allow all thoughts and feelings to be present, whilst lightly bringing your attention back to the eye contact.

Close your eyes for another 2 minutes, again breathe and feel, then open them again, and this time as you open your eyes, open yourself to the human being in front of you.  As you witness their expressions and feelings, character and presence, ask yourself, ‘could he / she be a mirror of myself?’  Open to noticing how whatever you perceive in them is also in you.

Close your eyes one more time, for 2 minutes, and when you open them again, open to receiving the Essence of your partner, their spirit, soul or beingness.  Don’t look for anything, just let go of all classifications and judgements as they come up, and receive your partner with the deepest, wisest part in you.  In this way, your essential beingness, oneness, may reveal itself to you, as in the poetic description of Namaste:  “I honour the place inside you where the whole Universe resides.  When I am in that place in me, and you are in that place in you, there is just one of us.”

In the words of Cinzia, who experienced this meditation with her husband in a Diamond Light Tantra Introductory Evening:

Having the chance to spend some special time with my partner, in this way, was a real treat, it was like seeing each other after a long time.

Just being there, looking into each other eyes, slowly and gently sharing love was a nourishing experience, a reminder of what makes us bond and why we are happy to be together.

Since then we’ve been trying to spend special time where we do something slower, quieter, just BE together with no plans.

Leora Lightwoman runs Diamond Light Tantra workshops in London and Devon.

Find out more about Diamond Light Tantra workshops in London and the UK

Email Leora Lightwoman or Diamond Light Tantra, or visit www.diamondlighttantra.com. You can also call 0845 388 2231 for more details or to book onto the workshops.

Leora Lightwoman MA (Oxon) has facilitated Tantra workshops for couples and individuals, and offered private sessions, since 1996, having originally trained with Margot Anand, and other Tantra teachers internationally.  She has a degree in psychology, and training in couples counselling, yoga, bodywork and voice dialogue.  She is author of the book ‘Tantra, the Path to Blissful Sex’ (Piatkus, 2004)

Annabel and Dom are a young couple who became pregnant without consciously intending to.  They were delighted, but also fearful.  Would parenthood make too many strains on their so far lighthearted and beautiful relationship?  And financially, Annabel was the sole earner, as Dom was studying.  How would they cope when Annabel became a mum?  Dom reacted by becoming more adolescent, going out with his mates and leaving Annabel home alone, and flirting.  She, understandably, became distressed, hurt, angry and sometimes depressed.

As they did not know what to do, they made love and opened to guidance from Great Spirit / the Universe.  In the afterglow, something had changed for Dom, and he had tears in his eyes.  He admitted that he was worried that he might be inadequate as a dad and a provider, but that he really wanted to try.  They decided to move from London to Scotland to be close to his parents, who were able to help them with childcare.  Their rent reduced by two thirds, and Dom found a job that he loved, and still gave him two afternoons a week, plus weekends to be with their baby son.

Sex Magic Ritual

First, take some time, either sitting in silence, or in nature, to open to your true, deep wishes and intent for the New Year.

Love Partners – Share your new year wishes.   Encapsulate them into a simple picture, or ‘sigil’.  This can be a shared sigil, or two separate ones.  If you have two sigils, then you will share two sex magic rituals, on two separate occasions, focusing on one sigil for each ceremony.

Individuals – Create a sigil from your deep intent.

Prepare a sacred space for your ritual, clearing clutter, washing, preparing the room beautifully with candles, from a place of love.  Imagine as you do this releasing all blocks to experiencing fulfillment.

Make love (couples) or self-pleasure (individuals), in a rich, slow and conscious way, inviting in your dream.  Be open to the wisdom of Great Spirit, who may have different or greater plans for you than those in your mind.  And at the same time, feel how it will be to realize your intent.  Have your sigil visible throughout

As you become aroused, imagine your sigil in your sex centre and in your heart.  At the point of orgasm, imagine your orgasmic energy moving from your base, through and up your body, out of your crown and into the hands of the Universe.

Then let it all go.  Open to all possibilities…

Leora Lightwoman runs Diamond Light Tantra workshops in London and Devon.

Find out more about Diamond Light Tantra workshops in London and the UK

Email Leora Lightwoman or Diamond Light Tantra, or visit www.diamondlighttantra.com. You can also call 0845 388 2231 for more details or to book onto the workshops.

Leora Lightwoman MA (Oxon) has facilitated Tantra workshops for couples and individuals, and offered private sessions, since 1996, having originally trained with Margot Anand, and other Tantra teachers internationally.  She has a degree in psychology, and training in couples counselling, yoga, bodywork and voice dialogue.  She is author of the book ‘Tantra, the Path to Blissful Sex’ (Piatkus, 2004)

Contrary to popular belief, passion can grow with the age of a relationship.  One aspect of passion is polarity – passion is a matter of the heart and of sexual energy, and both must flow within each, and between lovers for passion to flourish.    A woman in touch with her feminine flow is able to express her love and devotion, and to receive her partner’s sexual impulses.  A man in his masculine flow is in touch with his love for his woman, can receive her love, and express his desire with his body, heart and mind.

Passion is not just about sex, it is also a way of life.  Living passionately means being willing to release control, and to feel.  To feel your love, your anger, grief and joy.  When you put the lid on one feeling, you subdue the rest as well.

“When you can be passionate in your grief” says Margot Anand, one of my teachers, “you can be passionate in sex and in love”.

Below is the exercise that I gave Linda and Chris.  Letting go of their ‘civilised’ personalities allowed them, over time, and with guidance, to reconnect with their desires, feelings, express and release hidden conflicts, open their hearts and awaken passion:

Tantric Tip:  Awakening Passion

Consider some of the ways in which you may be dampening down your passion.  Do you try not to feel or express anger?  Are you fearful of wearing your heart on your sleeve, in case you get hurt?  Do you hold yourself back, in case you’re ‘too much’?  Would you be willing to become more spontaneous?

Step 1:  With a partner, take 5 minutes each to share your responses to the questions above.  Whilst one partner speaks, the other simply listens.  Then take a further 3 minutes each to again answer these questions.  You will go deeper this time.  Take a further 3 minutes each to share how you might allow more range in your feelings and expression in daily life.

Step 2:  In a carpeted room, or on a soft, low bed, kneel on all fours and place your right shoulder in contact with your partner’s right shoulder.  Close your eyes, and ask yourself which animal is the bearer of your passion at this moment.  Imagine that you have become this animal, as you press your shoulders together, and begin to make animal noises.  Allow the inner child in you to play with this imaginative game.

Step 3:  Allow yourself to gently push and receive, to explore and play with contact from other parts of your bodies as well – perhaps head to torso, side to side, bottom to bottom etc – all in the spirit of play.

Step 4:  Men, say “I want you!” as you continue this game.  Women say “I am yours”.  Say it repeatedly, even if you don’t feel it or mean it.  Play with it, and the different nuances.

Then either lie together and share your experiences, or allow this to develop into further sensual / sexual contact.

Leora Lightwoman runs Diamond Light Tantra workshops in London and Devon.

Find out more about Diamond Light Tantra workshops in London and the UK

If you wish to sample the work, there are Introductory Evenings running on January 18th 2012, or A Taste of Bliss, 1-day workshop on January 21^st 2012.

Email Leora Lightwoman or Diamond Light Tantra, or visit www.diamondlighttantra.com. You can call 0845 388 2231 for more details or to book onto the workshops.

Leora Lightwoman MA (Oxon) has facilitated Tantra workshops for couples and individuals, and offered private sessions, since 1996, having originally trained with Margot Anand, and other Tantra teachers internationally.  She has a degree in psychology, and training in couples counselling, yoga, bodywork and voice dialogue.  She is author of the book ‘Tantra, the Path to Blissful Sex’ (Piatkus, 2004).

Tantric massage is a very important aspect in the tantric tradition. Genuine knowledge about this ancient tradition is very rare today. There are many misunderstandings about Tantra, the most common one being that it is just a set of erotic exercises which aims to bring a more varied set of pleasures and make the sexual intercourse last longer.

One of the reasons why Tantra is known mainly as a tool for improving the erotic life is that we are having big difficulties in accepting and including sexuality. Therefore we fall out of one extreme into another: from frigidity to perversity. Tantra discovers the middle way – both in sexuality and in life itself.

Tantra is a genuine and exceptional path, which puts sexuality in its right place, recreating the missing spiritual dimension of the sexual experience. This practice expands the human consciousness to the greatest extent and considerably enriches the knowledge of Man and the Universe. At the same time, Tantra opens the road toward infinite horizons, where many extraordinary discoveries are awaiting the tireless practitioner.

In Tantra you go through life by saying “yes”.

The role of tantric touch in awakening the Heart

The ancient Oriental wisdom teaches us about the energies of life, love and sexuality and about how we can unite body, mind and soul in order to turn our lives into a sacred practice. Tantric massage is a way of making us live in the present moment, in a state of relaxation and awareness.

Through an intensive awakening of the sexual pleasure and sensitivity, we can expand and refine our state of consciousness, using and controlling the sexual energy in and up through the body. This energy then becomes available on other levels of our being, being transformed into, for instance, love or mental power. Being able to use this huge potential, in areas other than just sexuality, will greatly deepen the relationship with the beloved.

Tantric massage is a wonderful way to awaken and experience the erotic energy in a relaxed state of awareness and love. It opens up a new world of intimate togetherness where partners experience the magic of touch, without necessarily reaching lovemaking. The human touch reveals itself as the silent gate to our heart.

The human body has a tremendous capacity to experience pleasure through its 5 senses: sight, sound, smell, taste and above all the touch. Touch is the primary sense we develop. When touch is complemented by love, people establish their self-esteem and appreciation of their own bodies. These attitudes, developed early in our lives, play a large part in creating fulfilling love relationships. Also, later in our lives, we can discover the profound effects that the loving touch continues to have on all levels of our being.

In tantric tradition the heart chakra is connected to the sense of touch. This means that we can awaken our hearts simply by touching and being touched. Some of the qualities of an awakened human, like unconditional love, compassion and empathy will almost automatically become more present in our beings through practicing tantric massage.

Tantric massage is lovemaking of the Souls

We are, of course, not talking about a superficial back rub, but the full experience where the entire body is included in the massage and covered with loving touches full of awareness.

Including the entire body in the experience will not only create a very healing experience for both body and soul, but also awaken and open the heart chakra completely in a very conscious way. 
Tantric massage can be called “Lovemaking at the level of the Soul”. Touch is said to be food for our Souls, and the tactile experience is essential for the development of a happy and fulfilled human being.

The tantric massage is a deeply relaxing, rejuvenating and healing experience that awakens sensitivity and energy, increases the capacity to experience pleasure and creates a deep intimacy and closeness between the lovers – will reflect in all aspects of their relationship. Women are generally more in “touch” with their overall sensuality than men and they love to be shown through touch that they are appreciated in ways other than just their sensuality. Men tend to be more sexually focused in a physical relationship, but once they discover the delights of full body sensuality, they are converted. Tantric massage is something worth studying but most of all practicing.

Next time we will share with you some techniques and advices to both men and women who would like to learn tantric massage and discover the beauty and the power of tantric touch.

The Goddess of Ecstatic Joy Temple

You often hear that the wisdom of the heart is far greater than the wisdom of the mind. But it can sometimes feel more difficult to tune into. The heart does not communicate in the same way that the head does. We have spent so long in our lives being attuned to listening to our heads that when we try to listen to the deep wisdom of the heart, it can feel like it is someone talking with a strange accent. We get the feeling of what they are saying, but we struggle to hear the actual words. But what I do know is that humanity is slowly and slowly listening more to the heart. As we shift our focus more into the heart vibrations they will become stronger and stronger. As we seek to uncover more of living in our truth the old ways that we used to listen, the old truths will not be relevant any longer. It will be as if we need to uncover new truths, new directions, new ways of being, of relating, of existing. This is necessary for as we take another quantum leap closer to the light vibration, we have to leave behind what we have known before. The power houses that kept us safe will no longer have the same meaning, what we relied on yesterday will not be relevant for today. For in this new truth there is only this moment, there is only the now.

In the past we were told that our futures were already written, that we have chosen our pathway. We were told that when we came to this plane of consciousness that our lives, our paths, our lessons were all mapped out. As this new age approaches, as this new way of being enters into our consciousness more and more, we have to leave behind everything that we have known before.

Why? Freedom. Freedom of our souls. Freedom of our ourselves, freedom that smells so rich, tastes so good, that it feels like our soul has made a closer step forward to being home. It has made another step closer to its true potential and the unfolding of the mystery of who we are and what is our purpose in this realm. This whole story has not yet unfolded. We do not have all the answers. For if we knew the end goal we would not be able to do the ”letting go” that is so vital for this stage in our evolution. For the last 100 years we have been breaking down. We have been breaking down values that were created in our Victorian era. We have been breaking judgments, prejudices and shame. As humanity we have moved closer and closer to doing the right thing, governed by our hearts, not by our heads.

We no longer need the guru’s, the heads of state, the governments to show us what is right and wrong. For what is right and wrong is inside us. It is inside our very DNA, our make up. When we stop, listen to the wisdom of our hearts and that we are living in the truth can we then live in the light. The light of existence that is singing the most beautiful of songs. The most richest song of our existence that will be poetry and be told for many centuries to come. Parents will tell their children of this age. The day humanity moved into their heart centres and lived in their truth. The truth is that we are love, we are in love, we are rich, creative, beautiful children of this most delicious beautiful blue planet. We are the centre of love. For in life what can be more important than love?

In Bruce’s talk, he offered a possibility that Freedom is more important than Love. That as humans we value our freedom more highly than we value Love (please accept any apologies, but this was my interpretation). But I meditated on this for a week after listening to Bruce, and in my truth, Freedom is Love. Freedom is not valued more highly than Love because it is Love. Love is Freedom. The two are 1 and the same thing. They are not separate. If we are in our truth of love than we are Free.

Freedom for me is one of the qualities of Love. The same as selflessness is also a quality of the heart. But I believe that as humanity we are still understanding the qualities and wisdom of the heart. The mystery of the heart is still unfolding, it is still growing, it has not yet entered our consciousness. Isn’t that just great? There is something that we still don’t yet know? And it is something that won’t be able to be documented on Wikipedia. Apple or Microsoft will not be able to bottle it or to sell it. There won’t be business strategies written about this. But it will be the most powerful dawning of consciousness this planet has ever known. It will break all of the rules that we have learnt to obey, it will challenge all of the logic that we have spent centuries creating, because it has no logic. Look at recent micro chip technology. They are creating chips now that no longer have linear processes, but hundreds of thousands of possibilities.

Yet what happens won’t be on the news, it won’t be in the strategies of organisations, it will be in the hearts of us humans. I believe that we are already starting to see this. Across the middle east structures are breaking down, even in good ole solid blighty, people are feeling something. No longer do they want repression, no longer do they seek to get their instructions from others. The new truth is coming from within. For some this can be a very difficult transition because I wonder if it requires us to keep letting go of everything that we have known. At a weird level even in my home I seem to have done more clearing out in the last 3 weeks than I have ever done before. Letting go of things that do not serve me. In this new era I will not need them. What I need is within me, is transmitted to me, is available to me. It is no longer in the possessions. The truth is that the core of love is our very core and living in tune with that is our new future. How exciting will it be as this mystery unfolds, as the mystery gets deeper and deeper.

However this is going to be a massive shift. For how many of us live our lives bound by the rules and regulations. We live parts of our lives on the “shoulds” or “ought to’s”. Or we love in a context of fear, where we feel fear and therefore that keeps us containered. Fear of change, fear of loosing, fear of not succeeding, fear of the fear of the fear. This fear has kept us trapped for over 2,000 years. Sorry to say this but the Catholic Church has done an excellent job in contributing to this fear. Fear and retribution that if we dare to live as our true nature intended they we are doomed to centuries of death and damnation. Even worse than that, if we don’t conform, we will spend eternity in hell!

Oh My God! Is that what  Jesus really intended? I think he would be quite horrified if he knew what had done in his name for the last 2,000 years. But even this breaks down now.

Even in gay world, we have been told for hundreds of years that our sex is wrong, that we are less equal than other people just for the way that we were borne? We have called it an illness, we have called it deviant behaviour, but equivocal truth is that I am what I am. Humanity has woken up to this in the last 20 years and this message gets stronger and stronger. We started with jews, the blacks, the gays, the gypsies. Actually anything that was other than what we were we decided that they were less than perfect, they were less than god. If we believe the concept that we are all god, we decided that part of ourselves were not god. But in this new era, in this new age, we know that we are all accepted, all part of god, all part the divine truth that us humanity. And guess what, we only known half of the story so far. It is still being created, we are still creating it?

Have we not had enough of fear? Enough of living with shame? Enough of living with guilt? Enough of living with judgements about ourselves and others? Where have they got us? They have just sought to make us more fearful, more shameful, more guilty, more in the shadow.

This is why I love Tantra. Because it exposes all of these illusions. It helps us back to the true nature of ourselves. To our true nature of who we really are. It is reputed to be the fastest pathway to enlightenment and I kinda have to agree. Tantra strips us, lays us bare to the reflection of our true nature, to the truth of who we really are. Love!

As part of this journey into love, I believe that Freedom is one of the components. And I am talking about living your freedom. It is not something that you do once, I thought it was, but it is something that you keep doing and keep doing until you are freedom. Until others reflect back to you that amazing part of you that is freedom. It is about releasing judgements, self inflicted rules, releasing what you thought you knew about yourself and discovering the beauty of yourself. Discovering all the new possibilities that you can be. Asking yourself, if I were love, how do I represent that in the expression of my life? How am I an example of love?

In my courses, I ask people that if aliens were to land in the car park, and they wanted to know what love was, that they would look at you, look at your life and say yes, that is what love is.

Love is not control. Love is not judgement about self or others. Love is not something that only very religious or political people can talk about. Love is not…. Love is not… Love is not…

You are Love. You are an expression of love. The difficulties that you struggle with are an expression of the shadow side of love. But your soul yearns to be part of love. It yearns to be loved, it yearns to be love…

Love Jason xxx

Tantra is a path for our time. One that coincidentally addresses root causes of over consumption driving consumer society. As we seek to evolve new ways of being together, what part does Tantra have to play in developing sustainable community paradigms?

Sex sells, there is no doubt about this. From men’s shavers to women’s handbags, the displacement of sex into fetishized objects is ubiquitous in consumer society. “Buy me, I am sexy. Vicariously through me, you too will experience this sexiness” is a common message in television and display advertising. And yet I wonder whether collectively, do we really know our sex intimately? For sex remains in another sense a taboo topic, about which many are unable to converse either openly or truthfully.

Consumer society is largely founded upon the values and concerns of the ego. From cars to relationships and homes, the ego constructs its sense of self via identification with extraneous things. The ego exists through possession. Spiritual practice on the other hand draws our attention to inner contemplation, to exposing the false self running the show. Residing in no mind, sinking into the heart of the Self, surrendering to the will of God: these and similar intentions are common to most spiritual practice.

Through communities of practice, we open the way to new economies, which are no longer egocentric.

Why is it that sex sells? It is a peculiar facet of the ego that it works most vigorously to hide from itself and others, that about which it feels most insecure. One reason sex sells so very well, is because it is here we have become collectively most under educated. As a result of prohibitive taboos, we often hope our children will find their way to intimately relating adulthood, via a process of trial and error. That sex sells is further fueled by the fact it is such a powerful motivating force. If the natural expressions of sex, love and intimacy feel frustrated – this can lead to a persistency of desire quite unlike anything else.

We will never drop into a deeper and more harmonious relationship with the natural world, whilst inwardly ignoring or warring with our own natural expression. We need collectively as a society, to come into alignment with the nature of our sex.

To come into alignment with the “Nature of our sex” has to be properly understood.

There is much we imagine to be natural in sex that is nostalgia, repressive idealism, naiveté or a manufactured imitation of naturalness. Dictates such as “wholesome sex in marriage only”, “always between a man and a woman” or “for procreation only” – these statements say nothing of what is natural to sex. An experience of our naturalness in sex occurs when we are deeply centred, living conscious and unconditioned choices, following (or simply acknowledging) our energy wherever it leads. Where the ego constructs from the outside in, the unconditioned self arises: the education needed is therefore also often an unlearning.

Neo-tantra specifically seeks out for unlearning root causes blocking naturalness in our whole being, with a focus on intimacy and sex.

The irony is not lost on me, that in a market where sex sells, “Tantra” sells well also. And some of what presents itself as Tantra in the market place is a euphemism for sexual services. This reflects a collective tendency to separate the ‘sacred’ from ‘sex’, leaving it open to objectification as a commercial transaction.

What follows is some distinguishing facets of tantra (as I experience it), to help identify genuine teachings and practitioners, including the way in which tantra reunites ‘sacred’ and sex’…

And coincidently how tantra may help unleash an eco-sexual revolution!

Energy and Consciousness
Tantra can be understood as teaching us the dance between energy and consciousness, as pointed to by archetypal lovers Shakti (energy) and Shiva (consciousness). Through this dance we enter into union with the whole.

Energy is all that is created and exists in the universe. Often understood as a mysterious force, energy is in fact no different to matter except by degree of density, or vibrational frequency. Consciousness is not simply whether we are literally asleep or awake, though many people are in fact sleeping when they are awake! Consciousness just is, and arises as a result of moment-by-moment awareness. It is source expressed, just as individual waves arise from the ocean.

Awakening consciousness is the intention of most meditation and spiritual practice. Energy however is more often seen as something dangerous to be restrained except in situations prescribed as ‘healthy’. Or otherwise to be strictly channelled through rigorous discipline, as in forms of yoga evolved to harness the sexual energy of young warriors! Paths that focus exclusively on the cultivation of stillness through consciousness tend to lead us to the masculine face of God.

Tantra practices open the way to an embracing and surrender through energy. Tantra encourages us to free up, expand and consciously follow our energy, as we manifest our unique dance with the universe. Tantra brings all that is created – in the form of energy and as experienced through the senses – to the heart of our spiritual practice. Paths that pulsate with life, movement and energy tend to lead us to the Goddess, to the feminine face of our divinity.

In coming home to the Goddess, we also come home to the sacred nature of all that is created and exists, as experienced through our senses.

Masculine and feminine
Tantra is by no means a unified church and has many flavours. For some Shiva and Shakti seem to remain firmly rooted in the physical masculine or feminine form of the practitioner: the man embodies Shiva, the woman embodies Shakti. Tantra teachers with a shamanic background will more likely not only embrace that we are all both masculine and feminine, but go further and shape shift to embody their opposite.

I was introduced to this by witnessing two of my teachers – John Hawken and Baba Dez – shape shift into the feminine, powerfully reflecting back my own Goddess nature. These teachings were a gift, assisting me to release even deeper levels of unconscious ego identification. For what more powerful identification is there, than with our own gender? When this identification is breached, through stepping into our gender opposite, our energy may open to a multitude of expressions formerly closed to us, because we were conditioned by society not to identify with them.

In sessions when teaching men, I sometimes embody masculine warrior energy. Clients come along often to meet the Goddess. But to really meet her, they may need first to learn how to step fully into their own conscious masculine. I remember my teacher Baba Dez saying to me that Dakini* practitioners are often embodying and mirroring back to men the masculine. It took me some time to first understand this, to see it happening in my sessions, and then consciously embrace it as a process. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder with me – as “brothers in arms” (using a dynamic mediation process for this purpose) – can awaken a warrior’s courage.

Returning to our eco-sexual revolution, it is my understanding that a reclaiming the conscious masculine warrior – and Goddess warrior archetypes too – is one facet of the shift to new paradigms occurring now in our world. As every conscious warrior knows, this is not about seeking victory through fight. It is about finding a celebratory clarity, momentum and energy in our daily tasks. It is about the warrior’s ability to instinctively act in organic unity with others, at times when the going may be tough.

And at the core of every warrior is humility… the certainty that with every step, we are in service.

*Female tantra practitioners often adopt the role of “Dakini” in their teaching.

Sex, belly, senses and heart truths
Mostly we are conditioned in the west to make decisions with our minds. Especially anything relating to practical business affairs. Tantra teaches us a subtlety of awareness permeating our whole being – including (but not limited to) our senses, heart, belly, and sex.

Mind centred living often represses or sublimates different choices we would make if living from another centre. These unheard expressions will usually surface in underhand ways such as passive aggression; cheating and lying in relationship; depression; illness or even explosive rage leading to murder or suicide. In surrendering to a consciousness that radiates through every pore of our being, Tantra helps us let go of mind identification, and our deciding can emerge from an organically unified whole.

I remember one particularly vivid tantra practice in which I transformed into a feminine warrior archetype of Jaguar. I tasted how magical it is to experience simultaneously through every sense and sinew: to feel ones absolute synchronicity with the whole. This occurred at the close of a meditation in which I had vividly awakened all senses through a lengthy pleasuring ritual with a partner.

I leave it to the imagination of the reader, to picture a community of individuals, living this consciously free and expansive through their whole being. If the suggestion arouses resistance – judgements such as “this is not a practicable foundation for civilization” – further investigation of the fear fuelling the resistance may be fruitful!

Immanence, transcendence and totality
I don’t pretend to understand in depth or know well, the centuries of philosophical discussion on immanence, and transcendence. What I do experience in tantra practice though, is phenomena that offer a sense of recognition – an “I have touched this” – when reading what others have written on these topics. On the other hand one might read hundreds of texts for a whole lifetime, and never come to know in any way experientially what they speak of.

Earlier I emphasised how tantra cultivates both energy, and consciousness in the practitioner. I have wondered from my own practice, whether tantra also brings us to an experience of both immanence and transcendence. Whether the embrace of energy and consciousness, opens us to an experience of things that have the appearance of being contrary doctrine to the philosophical mind (though I understand there are also theologians who state transcendence and immanence are not at all mutually exclusive).

There are many facets to the experiencing of tantra, one of which is the conscious cultivation of pleasure, senses and sex. Through sacred union, we simultaneously experience the within and beyondness of God. Immanence comes from the Latin “in manere – to remain in”. When deeply awakening the senses, consciousness – or God – pulsates within every cell of our body! And yet at the same time we often expand beyond what we experience as our usual frame, beyond a materially bound finiteness. As the “I end here, and over there, you begin” dissolves – we may even be totally overwhelmed by an expansiveness of being.

Tantra is not a series of concepts, thoughts or ideas – but something deeply lived and experienced. And so tantra will tend to transform the way that we express ourselves in life. Tantra radiates through our very being. Returning to our consumer society, paradoxically by diving deeply into our pleasure, superfluous and insatiable desires fueling over consumption tend to fall away.

Tantra dances deeply with our desires. Consciously following energy with libratory intent, conditioned identifications fall away, releasing us each moment into the naturalness of the unconditioned Self.

Cathryn @ tantra for tigers

For example: having attended a dance performance we really enjoyed, we may feel uplifted and inspired, reflecting upon memories of this single event for some time. But if we were to take up dance as a practice we would expect to attend regular classes cumulatively layering experience. Eventually we find our movement, posture, expression and very being has radically changed. It is the same if we wish to reform ourselves tantrically!

So here is the crunch, many leisure activities purchased are based on relatively passive consumption. Tantra is often relegated to “leisure time” so we may subtly carry expectations of our purchase ‘delivering for us’. Living tantra calls for active commitment extending throughout the whole of life. Many people who come to see me for sessions would really like to approach tantra in this way, but are unsure how to do so. They have been to a handful of different workshops and practitioners, read a few books, but still are no clearer how to translate this into lasting practice.

Some teachers offer precise homework instructions. More often students visit many different tantra resources weaving together a practice from this. A “pick and mix” approach is sometimes derided as the antithesis of tantra as a science, requiring surrender to a single guru and prescribed practices of an authentic lineage. Experience has taught me the spiritual supermarket approach is not merely the expression of an ego bound western pathology (though it can be!). All paths are emergent within a particular context of collective consciousness evolution. It is the enlightenment uncovered that is eternal, not the paths that lead there. Some elements seen as indispensable to tantra are more culturally conditioned than inherent to – or the essence of – tantra.

As a visual arts practitioner, I have found fruitful parallels through an in-depth experiential understanding of creativity and my tantra and creative practices now weave seamlessly together. In another era artists would surrender individual expression to lengthy imitation in the studio of a master, reminiscent of the Guru disciple relationship. Things such as composition might be governed by mathematical formulae. Nowadays artists commonly will develop a broad understanding extending from science through to the arts – e.g. appreciation of materials, chemistry, techniques, history, philosophy etc.

But only Picasso can paint a Picasso! Ultimately all external reference points and learning must be surrendered to something else. Art that is enduring in its appeal is so because it has touched inwardly, through individual effort and inspiration, to the soul of the world. The finite frame of mortality is transcended inwardly to touch that which is infinite and eternal, we return to express this through our being. This is the essence of enlightenment: and the way in which art transcends an individual maker. Tantra as I experience it is a process of individuation leading to enlightenment, via practical sexual alchemy.

It is a great challenge to embark on a path of awakening in this way. No definitively prescribed daily activity, no Guru to defer all our questions to, no bells telling us what time to arise. The contemporary seeker has to be disciplined enough to undertake daily practice alone. To look within for answers simultaneous to having the humility to receive mirrors from teachers. ‘Teachers’ are your own experience, as well as a one to one practitioner or workshop leader. Additionally the tantric seeker has to grapple with a multiplicity of practices from kundilini shaking through to pelvic bouncing!

It is precisely these challenges that make tantra a uniquely rich and rewarding path. To help begin integrate experiences of tantra workshops and sessions, here is a ‘how to’ guide for embarking on the path of living tantra.

• Underlying the surface complexity of tantra is an essential simplicity, the dance of energy and consciousness. This is the true essence of tantra.

• The cultivation of energy (shakti) is what distinguishes tantra from other paths focusing more exclusively on consciousness (shiva). Evolving a deep experiential knowing of this dance will inform a balanced practice.

• Assume workshop material is intended to be repeated at home! Take a notebook, make notes about the practices jointly with others to aid a complete remembering.

• Practice is aided by the presence of Sangha, or community. Seek out existing peer groups or online tantra meetup groups. Become more deliberate about staying in touch with fellow workshop participants, create a practice peer group with friends.

• Workshop participants are carried by group energy. When you try practices at home the experience may at first feel ‘flat’. Take this as being normal, in time it will pass.

• Repetition is essential, on the 3^rd or 4^th attempt you may ‘get it’ where at first you didn’t. You will drop into ever subtler layers of experience that at first you missed.

• All tantra practice begins with YOU! Single people visiting me for sessions often say “I’ll start when I have a partner”. Individuals in a couple say, “I’d do more tantra but my partner doesn’t want to.” It is all a smoke screen; tantra begins with YOU!

• Make a foundation of solo practices, even in a couple. To begin pick any tantra practice from a book or workshop, set a number of times to do it in the following week or month. Observe and journal how your experience changes. Repeat, building up your lexicon of practice.

• I like to think of individual exercises as “tubes of colour” we paint with. And the way we string these together as the composition of the painting. Individual exercises weave together into a composition, this is how we build energy in our practice.

• For couples practice, set a regular time such as a weekly 2-hour slot. For the first session it may be that you don’t do any tantra! Expect to look at books or notes to plan the next few sessions.

• Whatever you do in your 2-hours you can spend 10 minutes sitting, breathing, eyegazing, stroking or playing some music and dancing! Simple things often touch us most deeply.

• Living tantra spills out to eating, queuing, sitting on a train. The Book of Secrets by Osho is a fantastic resource for a lifetime of living tantra practice.

• Infuse your practice with self-love, noticing “I did this…” or “I didn’t do this practice I set myself…” with equanimity. Beating yourself up for “getting it wrong” only divides you against yourself: all things eventually flourish in a loving environment!

• As confidence grows experiment and become more creative. Weave together things from different teachers, create new meditations, introduce sensual delights and toys… use your imagination!

• Many things support a tantra practice. 5 rhythms cultivates energy and freedom of expression. Tango or salsa develop subtlety of interaction. Biodanza or contact improvisation help drop inhibitions. Conscious swinging or BDSM can be very left hand path taboo breaking. Any kind of meditation cultivates witnessing presence. Yoga is good all round. Personally I love Bikram yoga, it has evolved my capacity to find stillness in the eye of an orgasmic storm!

• As you continue this process, interspersed with reflection from teachers and peers, your self-awareness will naturally deepen and confidence in tantra grow.

And one day you will find you are experientially living tantra, with your whole being!

Namaste,

Cathryn x