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Relationship is a microcosm of the world. There is a deep well of unconsciousness in humanity that gets played out in the meeting between man and woman. That’s why it’s often so painful. That’s why after the honeymoon period, the illusion of romance wears thin. And that’s why, instead of making love we end up going to war.
We can see this not only in the battle of the sexes but also in the fight between our intuition and intellect, the conflict between science and mysticism and the separation between heaven and earth. The rift between feminine and masculine is a wound that is carried in the heart of every human being.
And yet it is in intimate relationship that we have the most potent possibility to transform this unconsciousness. Relationship has the power to awaken us to our true nature and return us to the divine perfection of our essential self. Through deep communion with another, an alchemical marriage takes place in our hearts that has the power of personal and global transformation.
It’s a deep journey that requires us to remember who we are as the full embodiment of man and woman. For all our apparent success and status in the world, we have lost our true power when it comes to relating. Only when we can consciously embody the full openness of our feminine energy and the full depth of our masculine energy, can we unlock the spiritual power of our essential nature. And when we bring this essence into relationship, we tap into core energies that are truly transformative. Then, not only can we meet each other as man and woman, but also as god and goddess.
In order for man to transform his unconsciousness in relationship, he needs to be in touch with his truth: he needs to speak it, live it and breathe it. Most of all, he needs to be true to himself, to be authentic in everything he says and does. He needs to know what he feels - even if it is I don’t know - and have the courage to reveal this. He needs to explore what his purpose is, even if he is confused and cannot see clearly yet. He needs to discover for himself why he does what he does in life. Only by applying the clarity of his awareness to each and every moment does he discover his true purpose, whatever form this may take externally.
Ultimately, his true purpose is to shine as the god he is, to be fully present in this moment, living his truth. Man’s true essence is the masculine principle of Truth, which is experienced as awareness or depth of presence, like a sword of light that penetrates each moment to illuminate the stark naked reality of what is. When man brings this presence into his relationship with woman - by taking responsibility for his feelings, by being honest and by having the courage to be vulnerable - then he is living his truth. Very often man gets lost in the worldly distractions - such as work, money and recreation – in an attempt to free himself of the burden of limitation. Only when a man stops looking outside of himself for freedom and instead becomes more present in his body, mind and emotions, does he discover that freedom is his essential nature. Only when he immerses himself in the silence of Being, whatever he is doing – right here as this moment unfolds – can he truly relate.
Making love can only happen when man has embraced his deepest nature. And since sex is a microcosm of life, we can see that the whole of man’s unconsciousness is contained in his sexual organ, his penis. All of his aggressiveness and selfishness is exposed through the very vibration of his penis. But when man stops using woman to satisfy his need and instead brings presence to his penis, when he comes out of his head and into his body, when he feels through his desire and through his need and into the transparency of Being, then his penis becomes a conscious tool, a wand of light with the capacity to heal and truly make love.
When man fulfils his true purpose of living his truth and brings this into relationship, then woman can fulfil her true purpose of surrender. Woman transforms her unconsciousness in relationship by opening in trust. Woman’s true essence is the feminine principle of Love, which is experienced as an emanation of light, an unbounded radiance that spills out from an over-flowing bowl to enchant everything it touches. When woman can face her man, staying open through fear, tears, rage and howling pain, she radiates the depth of her Being-nature. This is her true power: the power to open as unbounded love, to be love, whatever is happening. Very often, woman gives of herself in order to be loved in return, her love is self-centred. But only when a woman’s love becomes selfless - when she stops fearing abandonment and instead willingly gives herself up to the aloneness of her essential Being - can she relate as the goddess she truly is.
For woman, the whole of her unconsciousness is contained in her vagina and womb. All of her emotionality, her greed, her neediness, her lack of fulfilment, her barrenness is held in the emptiness of her vagina and womb. Only when man (and his penis) are totally present can a woman (and her vagina/womb) be totally fulfilled. When he loves her totally then she transcends her craving to be loved, her dependency on externals, even her need for children. Now she can give herself totally to man, her vagina/womb can relax and open to release her divine essence that has power to heal man’s pain. Now she becomes the mother of the world, a goddess whose treasures can be shared with all.
When man faces woman in Truth and woman opens to him as Love, there is a magic that happens that heals the age-old rift between male and female, a sacred union takes place that allows mind and heart to merge in divine oneness. When man penetrates woman with his total presence and when woman embraces man with her full radiance, their lovemaking becomes tantric without reliance on special techniques. The penetration of Love by Truth and the embracing of Truth by Love is the true meaning of Tantra. It is an inner alchemy available to every one of us when we live in conscious surrender to Existence. The deeper man goes into the truth of his essential nature, the more his presence radiates as the light of love. And the wider woman opens as love, the brighter is the light of her awareness. When male and female polarities meet in wholeness within each of us, there is an alchemical marriage that heals the wound of separation. Every drop of love made in the sacred crucible of our hearts brings us closer to ourselves, to each other and to God.
Amoda and Kavi are available for Relationship Counselling for couples and individuals.
Contact: 0207 482 0326
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