The Most Boring Person in the World

I'm writing a book on tantra and sex. I have been given mad deadlines. What this means in reality is that I'm not practising tantra, nor having any sex! Consequently, I have become the most boring person in the world. I certainly have no lurid tales to share with you. I haven't attempted anything this challenging since putting together Tantralink.
The most exciting thing that's happened to me in the last week has been a mud wrap at a spa retreat I was researching for the book. I'm not complaining - it's just that All of my sexiness, juiciness, sassiness is pouring into the book. So when it comes out, GO AND BUY IT! It'll be the hottest book out there. I'll let you know.
In the meantime, I've become like a man - thinking about sex every 6 seconds. Why, oh why did I throw out my Rabbit? A fleeting paranoia about the dangers of leaking latex I seem to recall. I haven't even got time to go out and get one.
Hang on, I have a boyfriend! Oh yes...maybe I'll give him a ring sometime this week and see if I can squeeze him in between the ten hours a day on the computer. Actually, thinking about it, I'd better check to see if I still have one. I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't been scouring the pages of the dating site, looking for a hot date. Bless him. When this is over, if he hasn't dumped me, I'll make it up to him.
If I get any sex, or have any spontaneous satoris, don't worry I'll let you know. In the meantime please pray that I don't dry up completely. Ah, the life of a writer...
By the way, if you're looking for something good to read, go to the articles on Tantralink. There's some great stuff there.