TANTRIC TEA PARTY

When I was growing up, tea parties were formal affairs involving cucumber sandwiches and doilies, polite conversation and porcelain tea cups. Our tantric tea party last week involved none of these things, and had my mother walked in at any point I think she would have turned pale and fainted.
The guests had been instructed to bring 'sinful' cakes and they didn't disappoint. By the time the fourteen guests had arrived we had a table full of mousses, pies, cookies and other delectable treats.
As the organiser who had spent all week eagerly plotting the afternoon's agenda, I was thrilled to see exactly seven shaktis and seven shivas. The perfect count for a trip into excess and debauchery that I had planned in my somewhat perverted and always imaginative mind. Tee hee.............(visualise wicked smile, witchy laugh and wringing of hands)
After fortifying the tantrikas with cups of tea, I led them all into the living room where I proceeded to blindfold them, while giving out soothing and encouraging hugs. I then asked them to lay down on the floor.
With an accompaniment of stimulating and provocative music, I led them on a tantalising 'journey' through varying stages of life, from birth, through to death. My slightly bemused partner Andrew helped with the Sensorial Awakening part of the journey.
Andrew's never quite sure what's coming next with me, and I must admit that I very rarely seem to get it together to let him know beforehand exactly what's going to happen. Or anyone for that matter!
When you're living life in the spiritual fast lane, it's hard for people around you to keep up sometimes.......no time for 'preparation'. If they're lucky though, they get some time after the event for 'de-briefing'. I get the occasional phone call along the lines of,
"WHAT just happened?! I can't BELIEVE what I just went through........" etc, etc.
Oh well. It's never boring hanging around a Tantric Goddess.

Back to the party-
"Here, put oils on these tissues and shove them under their noses........quick, pop this chocolate into their mouths......hey, you've missed one......whisper sweet nothings in the ears........put their fingers in your mouth....."
I whispered instructions to him like a mad professor, and before we knew it, we were into the 'movement/touch' section. The group were up - moving and touching in the most innocent, playful and curious way. It's amazing to see a group of human beings discovering each other in this way. What a way to meet!? There's no small talk or bullshit. It's a 'meeting' in the true sense of the word.
Then it was time for the 'visual' sense to be awakened. The guests removed their blindfolds and 'saw' as if for the first time. Candle flames, walls, curtains, other human beings................. Their faces were full of wonder.
We proceeded to journey together through the whole of life's experiences - the emotions, desires, disappointments, joy - we felt our 'togetherness', we went deep into our 'aloneness' - all through dance.
The guests were fired up and going for it, big time. It was a thrilling ride.
We ended in a dying process, which was a beautiful 'gateway' to the other side. People were re-framing their fears and fantasies around dying.

It was certainly a dramatic way to begin a tea party. By the time the journey was over, we were definitely ready for a nice cup of tea, and the men were sent into the kitchen to boil kettles and fill teapots, while the girls stayed behind and huddled together to plan the next extravagance.
The shaktis didn't look too sure when I described what I had in mind, but I can sell snow to eskimos, and before you could say 'Johnson Linguni' I had persuaded them to remove all traces of clothing and begin to place bits of pie, eclair and mousse over each other in creative and artistic ways. After a lot of giggling they finally spread their dessert-laden bodies over the carpet and blindfolded themselves.
What a sight met the eyes of the shivas as they were led in by Andrew to indulge in their feast.
There was only one rule - the shivas weren't allowed to use their fingers.
They could eat from any 'plate'.
The men crawled around finding bits of eclair here, puddles of mousse there, and crumbs here, there and everywhere. The shaktis moaned and groaned as they felt unidentifiable males licking and sucking in bodily places where food had never been consumed before.............
It was a teatime Bacchanalian banquet.
By the time the men had had their fill, the women were starving and, after a fun clean-up job with warm flannels, we filed out to the kitchen for our rather more civilised feast. The shivas were a little disappointed that we weren't going to munch off their naked bodies, but we only had an hour till the kids were returning home.
After a bit of a dance, we cleared up, hurriedly grabbing underwear from between the couch cushions, just in time for the host's seven and eleven year old to walk in the door.
"Did you have a nice tea party?" they asked their dad.
"It was a bit messy." he replied, and I tried my hardest not to laugh.
You may think from reading these blogs that all we do in tantra is put things in our mouths.
It's not true. It's simply that, being a compulsive foodie, it's easier for me to describe the delights of food than a lot of other activities which may occur in the pursuit of tantric enlightenment.
So, next time I shall attempt to describe the details of a tantric breathing meditation with as much enthusiasm as I seem to be able to muster for writing about food. Don't get me wrong, I love breathing as much as eating, it's just that there doesn't seem to be as large a choice of adjectives around 'breathing' in the Thesaurus as there is around 'eating'.
Have fun, be open and say 'yes' a lot.
Namaste x