ANNUAL EROTIC/STRIPTEASE AWARDS
You may wonder what an Erotic/Striptease award could possibly be. You might be saying to yourself, "Nah....you're not serious........they can't possibly hold Erotic/Striptease awards, not in this country....maybe in Vegas.....come on....."
Well I'm here to tell you that the Annual Erotic and Striptease Awards Evening does indeed exist - it's huge, it's awe-inspiring, and it's just south of the river!
The Leydig Trust, a reputable and altruistic charitable organisation puts on glamorous events promoting sex for the disabled and physically-challenged. They raise money by providing highly entertaining charity functions. I urge you to support their cause by actually attending! Don't be shy. I can guarantee fun, laughter and an education all round.
I dressed up. Not everyone does (some men turned up in Shetland sweaters and slacks) but seeing as I spend rather a large proportion of my life in a pinny at the kitchen sink, or trawling the supermarket aisles in order to fill up the fridge yet again (I live with two large, permanently hungry, teenage boys) I long for any opportunity to glam up and remind myself that I am a sexy, horny, juicy tantric goddess.
In order to build www.tantralink.com I sacrificed two years of my life, gathering quite a few facial wrinkles along the way and inadvertently stimulating rapid growth spurts of grey hair. It was worth it. One of the benefits of having created a tantra website is that I get to hear about off-centre, wild and kinky events like the one I shall tell you about in this month's blog. I meet all sorts of interesting characters through Tantralink.com, and one of them in particular seems to have his finger on the pulse of all erotic activity in the London area. Thank you Mr G x
So, there I am in Clapham with my partner in crime, staggering from car to venue in unspeakably high, patent, fuck-me shoes and ridiculously short PVC skirt, hoping not to bump into an old school friend or someone from the bank. We meet up with our eclectic crowd of friends, some of whom have made a real effort to dress for the occasion, others (namely the husbands) looking as though they've been forced into a clean pair of jeans and are wishing they'd been allowed to stay home to watch the finals of the Premier League.
The anticipatory buzz is catching. We all take our seats and watch the stage with baited breath as the compere announces the first act of the semi-finals. Well.......I've been to Erotica a few times, and I've been to Spearmint Rhino, but I've NEVER seen pole dancing like this! There are, in fact a few pole-dancing acts in the show, each one different and utterly unique. It's hard to believe that a human being could conjure up such a variety of entertaining moves on one pole. This strange activity is a relatively new performance art (as well as a good way to keep fit, apparently- have a look at the notice board in your local sports centre and these days you're likely to find a local pole-dancing class fairly easily ) and if you think the world of pole dancing is inhabited by anorexic, out of work actresses and dim-witted blondes, think again. We have the honour of being treated to a spectacular turn by the impossibly flexible and undeniably feminine World Champion, no less, called Ekatarina who has flown from New York especially for the event and presents a one-woman show to die for. Our jaws drop as we witness feats of superhuman strength and control performed by a beautiful, asian man who looks like he was born on a pole! I wouldn't be surprised if one day pole-dancing was an olympic sport.
Other erotic acts competing for the finals are equally impressive and creative. We stare, open-mouthed as ping-pong balls are juggled from vaginas, we cheer loudly as exotically-attired fetishists conjure and contort in complicated acts of bondage. This is all before the interval.
As I wander about the place, which seems to be full of a delicious combination of jolly hedonists, unashamed voyeurs and proud exhibitionists I come across a man selling a state-of-the-art Fuck Machine on a giant pedestal. He's selling his wares like a market stall holder and I'm expecting him to start shouting "Roll up, roll up" in a cockney accent any minute. An obliging strip-tease artist from the first half of the show is demonstrating the contraption with gay abandon. Whilst straddling the huge, vibrating, rotating mechanical cock, rather like a rodeo rider, she's grinning at the audience, encouraging the girls to "Come on up and try it. It's amazing. I'd never leave home...." Has she been paid, I wonder?
The men are looking decidedly uncomfortable as the possibility occurs to them that they might just become dispensable one of these days. Any worried men reading this, I just want to let you know you that I like the real thing best myself, and would never replace my beloved tantric lover with a mechanical stimulator......For the hygiene freaks out there (and having been raised jewish, I completely understand these concerns) I just want to reassure you that the salesman thoroughly disinfects each latex cock-cover between every ride. I'm sure my mother would be relieved......
We're so exhausted we can't even stay until the end of the show. There are so many new sights and sounds, we're like those inmates who've been let out of prison and are blinded by the sunlight. We walk back out into a rather grey and gloomy world, certainly in comparison to the Wonderland we've just been shown. On the way home I resolve to practise my kegels religiously so that I can attempt the trick with the ping pong balls for my partner. I make a pact to enroll in a pole dancing class as soon as possible, so I that I can electrify my partner, and I promise myself a new bondage kit, so that I can drive my partner wild.
It's now a few weeks since the Erotic Awards and I have to confess that I've kept none of those resolutions. I know, I know, you'll say it's just an excuse, but it is the summer holidays and I'm hopelessly resigned to my role as caterer, domestic cleaner and taxi service. Perhaps when the kids go back to school..............
The finals are on September 1st. Check it out on www.nightofthesenses.com
See you there!
Well I'm here to tell you that the Annual Erotic and Striptease Awards Evening does indeed exist - it's huge, it's awe-inspiring, and it's just south of the river!
The Leydig Trust, a reputable and altruistic charitable organisation puts on glamorous events promoting sex for the disabled and physically-challenged. They raise money by providing highly entertaining charity functions. I urge you to support their cause by actually attending! Don't be shy. I can guarantee fun, laughter and an education all round.
I dressed up. Not everyone does (some men turned up in Shetland sweaters and slacks) but seeing as I spend rather a large proportion of my life in a pinny at the kitchen sink, or trawling the supermarket aisles in order to fill up the fridge yet again (I live with two large, permanently hungry, teenage boys) I long for any opportunity to glam up and remind myself that I am a sexy, horny, juicy tantric goddess.
In order to build www.tantralink.com I sacrificed two years of my life, gathering quite a few facial wrinkles along the way and inadvertently stimulating rapid growth spurts of grey hair. It was worth it. One of the benefits of having created a tantra website is that I get to hear about off-centre, wild and kinky events like the one I shall tell you about in this month's blog. I meet all sorts of interesting characters through Tantralink.com, and one of them in particular seems to have his finger on the pulse of all erotic activity in the London area. Thank you Mr G x
So, there I am in Clapham with my partner in crime, staggering from car to venue in unspeakably high, patent, fuck-me shoes and ridiculously short PVC skirt, hoping not to bump into an old school friend or someone from the bank. We meet up with our eclectic crowd of friends, some of whom have made a real effort to dress for the occasion, others (namely the husbands) looking as though they've been forced into a clean pair of jeans and are wishing they'd been allowed to stay home to watch the finals of the Premier League.
The anticipatory buzz is catching. We all take our seats and watch the stage with baited breath as the compere announces the first act of the semi-finals. Well.......I've been to Erotica a few times, and I've been to Spearmint Rhino, but I've NEVER seen pole dancing like this! There are, in fact a few pole-dancing acts in the show, each one different and utterly unique. It's hard to believe that a human being could conjure up such a variety of entertaining moves on one pole. This strange activity is a relatively new performance art (as well as a good way to keep fit, apparently- have a look at the notice board in your local sports centre and these days you're likely to find a local pole-dancing class fairly easily ) and if you think the world of pole dancing is inhabited by anorexic, out of work actresses and dim-witted blondes, think again. We have the honour of being treated to a spectacular turn by the impossibly flexible and undeniably feminine World Champion, no less, called Ekatarina who has flown from New York especially for the event and presents a one-woman show to die for. Our jaws drop as we witness feats of superhuman strength and control performed by a beautiful, asian man who looks like he was born on a pole! I wouldn't be surprised if one day pole-dancing was an olympic sport.
Other erotic acts competing for the finals are equally impressive and creative. We stare, open-mouthed as ping-pong balls are juggled from vaginas, we cheer loudly as exotically-attired fetishists conjure and contort in complicated acts of bondage. This is all before the interval.
As I wander about the place, which seems to be full of a delicious combination of jolly hedonists, unashamed voyeurs and proud exhibitionists I come across a man selling a state-of-the-art Fuck Machine on a giant pedestal. He's selling his wares like a market stall holder and I'm expecting him to start shouting "Roll up, roll up" in a cockney accent any minute. An obliging strip-tease artist from the first half of the show is demonstrating the contraption with gay abandon. Whilst straddling the huge, vibrating, rotating mechanical cock, rather like a rodeo rider, she's grinning at the audience, encouraging the girls to "Come on up and try it. It's amazing. I'd never leave home...." Has she been paid, I wonder?
The men are looking decidedly uncomfortable as the possibility occurs to them that they might just become dispensable one of these days. Any worried men reading this, I just want to let you know you that I like the real thing best myself, and would never replace my beloved tantric lover with a mechanical stimulator......For the hygiene freaks out there (and having been raised jewish, I completely understand these concerns) I just want to reassure you that the salesman thoroughly disinfects each latex cock-cover between every ride. I'm sure my mother would be relieved......
We're so exhausted we can't even stay until the end of the show. There are so many new sights and sounds, we're like those inmates who've been let out of prison and are blinded by the sunlight. We walk back out into a rather grey and gloomy world, certainly in comparison to the Wonderland we've just been shown. On the way home I resolve to practise my kegels religiously so that I can attempt the trick with the ping pong balls for my partner. I make a pact to enroll in a pole dancing class as soon as possible, so I that I can electrify my partner, and I promise myself a new bondage kit, so that I can drive my partner wild.
It's now a few weeks since the Erotic Awards and I have to confess that I've kept none of those resolutions. I know, I know, you'll say it's just an excuse, but it is the summer holidays and I'm hopelessly resigned to my role as caterer, domestic cleaner and taxi service. Perhaps when the kids go back to school..............
The finals are on September 1st. Check it out on www.nightofthesenses.com
See you there!
posted by Tantralink - Tantra Blog @ 12:52 AM
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